David Hyde Pierce

Narrator

Mackenzie Astin

The Male (Billy)

Carmen Electra

The Female (Jenny Smith)

Markus Redmond

The Male's Friend (Jimmy)

Lucy Liu

The Female's Friend (Lydia)

Lisa Rotondi

The Female's Slutty Friend (Lana)

Sharon Wyatt

The Male's Mother

Jack Kehler

The Male's Father

Leo Rossi

The Female's Father

Antonette Saftler

The Female's Mother

Marc Blucas

The Female's Ex-Boyfriend

Anne Gee Byrd

The Female's Boss

Eric Kushnick

The Female's Brother

Linda Porter

The Wise Old Woman

Tyler Abugov

The Female's Fantasy Son

Lynn Ann Leveridge

The Large Female

Adam Abugov

The Male as a Cub

William Morts

The Ex-Boyfriend's Friend