John Hodgman

Self - Narrator

Faith Anderson

Self - Lifeguard

Alison Becker

Self - Park Guest

Bill Benneyan

Self - Park President

Matthew Callan

Self - Park Guest

Jim DeSaye

Self - Director of Park Security

Daron Fitch

Self - Park Employee

Chris Gethard

Self - Park Guest

Joe Hession

Self - Park Employee

Mark Johnson

Self - Security Guard

Bob Krahulik

Self - Head Lifeguard

Brian Larsson

Self - Sussex County Resident

Esther Larsson

Self - Sussex County Resident

Mark Malkoff

Self - Park Guest

Jessi Paladini

Self - Vernon Newspaper Editor

Mary Pilon

Self - Financial Journalist

Seth Porges

Self - Journalist

Jason Scott Sadofsky

Self - Archivist